In postmodern finance’s latest twist, a short clip from CNBC has become one of the most watched videos on a Adult Website.
“It’s the best clip I’ve seen so far of the rich boning the middle class,” explains commenter PixieFart69. “When I see the equity chart next to the unemployment chart, I’m glad my office has floor-to-ceiling bathroom stalls, because I need to go long a short squeeze, heh.”
The ‘animal spirits’ governing the markets have become sexual. “We’re witnessing the market equivalent of spring break,” said one trader. “We’re getting in, getting out, and not calling Hertz back.”
The video gained in popularity after reaching the top of famed messageboard WallStreetBets. “Each time the S&P thrusts into positive territory for 2020, I feel this surge of excitement,” wrote commenter ShogunShkreli. “I not only timed the market bottom, I became a market bottom.”
Where will this excitement lead? Does the market have a future after this? “I hope the market has a better time after the adult industry than I did,” said former starlet Mia Khalifa. “If my experience is any indication, the people in charge will make more money off of you than you will off of them.”
