Tesla Split

After seeing Tesla’s stock price rocket on news of the stock split, Elon Musk announced Tesla will begin splitting their stock everyday.  “We will be at a $10 trillion valuation in a month,” Musk tweeted.  “To infinity and beyond!”

Since announcing the 5-1 stock split, Tesla has skyrocketed more than 70% in under 20 days.  The goal of the stock split was to make shares more affordable for the average investor.  But as anyone with a brain knows, the split will not change the valuation of the underlying business.

“We have increased our price target to $8,000 per share,” Wedbush stated in an analyst note.  “We arrived at this price target by taking the current price and multiplying it by 17.  Zero, and I mean zero fundamental analysis went into discovering the price target.”

In response to Elon’s tweet, Grimes stated, “I love you but please turn off ur phone or give me a dall.  I cannot support hate. Please stop this. I know this isn’t your heart.”

In other news, a man had a heart attack after attempting to build a discounted cash flow model on Tesla.  Robinhood investors cheered after finding out the man is expected to die.