Elon Musk Announces Tesla Will Split Its Stock Everyday


After seeing Tesla’s stock price rocket on news of the stock split, Elon Musk announced Tesla will begin splitting their stock everyday.  “We will be at a $10 trillion valuation in a month,” Musk tweeted.  “To infinity and beyond!”

Since announcing the 5-1 stock split, Tesla has skyrocketed more than 70% in under 20 days.  The goal of the stock split was to make shares more affordable for the average investor.  But as anyone with a brain knows, the split will not change the valuation of the underlying business.

“We have increased our price target to $8,000 per share,” Wedbush stated in an analyst note.  “We arrived at this price target by taking the current price and multiplying it by 17.  Zero, and I mean zero fundamental analysis went into discovering the price target.”

In response to Elon’s tweet, Grimes stated, “I love you but please turn off ur phone or give me a dall.  I cannot support hate. Please stop this. I know this isn’t your heart.”

In other news, a man had a heart attack after attempting to build a discounted cash flow model on Tesla.  Robinhood investors cheered after finding out the man is expected to die.

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