Palo Alto, California – “We will be selling cars to aliens soon,” stated Elon Musk, Founder and CEO of Tesla Inc. (“TSLA”). “Why else do you think I have been investing so heavily into SpaceX?”
Elon Musk took heat from the financial markets this past year for tweeting, “Am considering taking Tesla private at $420. Funding secured”. Elon later went on the Joe Rogan show – smoking weed in front of the world. But Elon assures us, selling cars to aliens is not a joke.
“Look,” Elon said. “If we start selling cars to aliens the total addressable market (“TAM”) is infinite. Have you ever watched Star Wars or Star Trek Enterprise? Space is f’ing huge!”
When asked how big Elon really thinks the total addressable market is, he replied, “Yeet-Finity.”
“There is a method behind my madness,” Elon said smirking. “Did you really think I was building rocket ships because I want to get people to live on Mars? It’s all about the cash dolla’s son. I bet those aliens are gangsta rap rich.”
Goldman Sacs increased their price target on Tesla to $8,745.3432 per share. “We started taking our price targets out to the fourth decimal point,” a Goldman analyst told us. “It makes us look really smart and not dumb”
We were told Galileo Russell freaked out over the potential ‘Yeet-Finity’ total addressable market and is in the process of uploading several YouTube videos with his updated models.
Mark Spiegel, long-time Tesla bear said, “space doesn’t even exist. Space is totally made up by the Russians. I know this because I watch Alex Jones.”