Jim Cramer Hooker

The once legendary stock picker turned bald man, Jim Cramer, looks to have finally gone off the deep end. After tweeting nonsensical tweets all day, Mr. Cramer was reported to have killed a hooker, then proceeded to write “Short Squeeze” with her blood on the Federal Reserve building in New York City.

Jim Cramer was then seen trudging back in the snow with only his boxers and one shoe on.

Police have stated that Jim Cramer is at large with a massive hog that won’t go down from taking a copious amount of Viagra.