North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has differed from many other world leaders in that he has chosen to embrace the new crypto revolution and has announced a new crypto currency that will give power back to the people. The currency, JongCoin, started trading at $20 per coin and reached a peak of $2,600 in today’s afternoon trading session.
Not only has the new cryptocurrency reached record high in a matter of hours, but it also has a real world use, the development of nuclear warheads. Every time a new JongCoin is mined the country gets closer to developing nuclear warhead capabilities.
“We have deployed an army of six year old’s to mine thousands of JongCoin’s per day,” a North Korean representative stated. “To keep the six year old’s working through the night we spike their fruit punch with cocaine and keep guards armed with AR-15s so they stay on edge. By the end of March we should have nuclear capabilities.”
Environmentalists across the country shed massive amounts of tears as the process to mine JongCoin is severely bad for the ozone layer. One Southern California environmentalist strapped herself to her self driving Tesla and drove it off a cliff in protest.