Millionaire Rapper Raz Simone faced a setback in the struggle against Capitalism late Thursday evening. Raz was awoken to find one of his multiple Airbnb listings had been rented out to residents of the CHAZ.
In an attempt to better their lot in life, the residents had rented the million dollar condo for some relief from the anarchist state they call home. After immediately sprucing the place up with a beautiful mural, residents of new CHAZ decided to throw a party to celebrate. Posters were put up all over old CHAZ to invite as many guests as possible.
Raz was not happy at all about this situation. The LOC (landlord of color) immediately dispatched armed antifa members to protect his capitalist empire and property value. Little known to the homeless members of the Seattle community, Airbnb rented condos help boost property values outside the reach of lower income individuals by removing long term rentals from the market. They also serve as excellent hosting locations for aspiring young PIMPS to market their products.
Unfortunately for the hopeful citizens of new CHAZ, the existing ruling class was unwilling to part with their government subsidized capitalistic exploits quite so easily. Hopeful party attendees were greeted with armed members of the CHAZ security department guarding the millionaire’s condo. The attendees were directed to take the party “anywhere but my property.”
In an attempt to salvage what little street cred he had left, the up and coming landlord took to twitter to announce:
Hope Y’all enjoyed your stay! You’ve seen what I do to people who graphiti walls that aren’t there’s but I’ll let this one slide cuz its cute and y’all funny funny
Members of the local rap community were reached for comment and had the following to say. “Raz is a little sissy who got played by a white boy from Canada.” Raz himself could not be reached for comment as reporters were refused entry into the gated community the millionaire calls home.