Report: Entire $50 Billion Airline Aid Package Already Blown On Share Repurchases

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Chicago – The $50 billion dollar bailout package the airline industry received has already been blown.  Reports indicate airline companies, including Boeing, have blown the bailout money on share repurchases.  “Our stocks are trading at historical lows,” Investor Relations chump for the airline industry stated.  “We decided the best use of the bailout money was to blow it on additional repurchases.”  The airline industry took heat this year, given the fact that since 2008 the five largest airline companies spent over $90 billion on repurchases and $34 billion on dividends.  “Look, our stocks are cheap, and the Fed has a money printing machine.  If we want to repurchase our stock with this bailout money we can.  Sure, it might not be the best use of capital, but money printing machine go BRRRR.  I guarantee we will receive additional bailout money in the future.”  The aerospace industry traded higher on this news.  In other news, Sarah, single mother, 29, is still waiting on her $1,200 paycheck. 

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