Report: The stock market is acting straight up stupid


Washington – According to a new report published Friday by financial publication, Gardner Research and Associates, the stock market is acting straight up stupid.  “Our latest research and analysis shows that the stock market is acting completely stupid, Greg Daniels, partner of Gardner Research and Associates stated.  “This is the dumbest I have seen the stock market act in ages.  It’s completely asinine.”  Gardner Research and Associates have done multiple back-testing strategies to prove how dumb the stock market is acting.  “This is the most retarded I have seen the stock market act in over 200 years,” Greg Daniels said.  “People are out of jobs, rent isn’t being paid, no one is buying anything, and the stock market continues to go up.  I just don’t get it.  This market is hella dumb.” On the other side of the spectrum, CNBC talking heads continue to say ‘buy the dip’ and ‘make sure to lock in that 1.5% dividend yield’ – this is the opportunity of the century!

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