Economy shut down

“What are you giving up? Some movies, oh your favorite ball game maybe, and musicians are use to not being paid so I don’t know what those free loaders are complaining about.”

Margaret Snitches of Jacksonville, Florida has serious concerns about the reopening of the economy. Between sips of Dr. Pepper from her ‘Merica sized Route 44 cup and the occasional drag off her Virginia Slim she explains how her husband is at risk.

“He has diabetes, COPD and still is recovering from his second, triple by-pass surgery. We have had to make sacrifices too, instead of our usual date night at Carl’s Jr we have our food delivered by Uber Eats. The bacon on my quad-stack cheeseburger is soggy by the time it arrives. SOGGY BACON? What is this Wendy’s???

Mrs. Snitches, along with her entire bridge club, believes that the whole world should just shut down until a vaccine is available. The two weeks to flatten the curve? Then back to normal? How could anyone possibly get back to “normal” when LIVES are at stake!

“I hold Apple and Tesla stock at record highs, and with my pension and social security checks coming in every month I really see no reason for ANYONE to go out. These dirty and diseased millennials that claim they need money to pay rent can just go back to their parent’s basement. They have no real problems like my husband, and I have. Selfish I tell you! No respect for their elders!” exclaims Mrs. Snitches.

And there you have it folks. Looks like we are in it for the long haul. I would suggest everyone do like Mrs. Snitches and grab a pack of your favorite smokes, a bottle of gin and clutch those pearls until the magical cure arrives.