Six Reasons Why I’m Backing The Truck Up On Tesla

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Tesla priced under $2,000 per share is a value buy of a generation.  Mark my word boys.  Tesla is deep value like a five foot hole dug in the ground.  Tesla has absolutely no downside!  In fact, Tesla could be worth over $8,000 per share.  Here are the five best reasons why I think Tesla is a value buy of a generation at $2,000 per share.

The valuation is deep value

Tesla is deep like Edgar Allen Poe.  This means it is a deep value stock.  In my opinion the fair value of Tesla should be in excess of $8,000.  I arrived at this price target by taking the current price of $2,000 and multiplying it by 4.  At a price of $8,000, Tesla would have a measly P/E ratio of 1,000x.  This is a low number.  And now that I think of it, Tesla should actually be valued at $10,000 per share which makes a ton more sense.

Cathy Wood Has Big Eyes

Cathy Wood runs Ark Investment Management and has really big eyes.  Since Cathy has really big eyes it means she will definitely not miss anything in Tesla’s financial statements since she can see extra well.  Having big eyes makes you a really good financial analyst.  In the legendary book, The Intelligent Investor by Ben Graham, Graham says he only hires people with really big eyes because they can see financial statements more clearly.  I wish I had a Cathy Wood mannequin to put up in my garden so it would scare the crows away with the big eyes.

I tried to do fundamental analysis on Tesla and it gave me a stroke

One time I tried to build a multi-segment DCF model on Tesla and it gave me a stroke.  I ended up staying in the hospital for over a month and it almost killed me.  When I got out of the hospital I tried to finish my model and had three massive heart attacks.  The moral of the story is that it’s impossible to do fundamental analysis on Tesla.  If you can’t do fundamental analysis on a company it means its worth lots of money.

Tesla’s self driving cars allow you to please yourself on the highway

Tesla’s self driving cars are really cool and open up a ton of possibilities for the future of transportation.  One industry all of Wall Street is missing is the ability to please yourself when you drive.  Since the cars can drive by themselves you can go to town on yourself like a hormonal hippo.  I value the ability to please yourself when you drive at $500 billion.

Tesla has inflates their accounts receivables (hidden asset)

The biggest hidden asset Tesla has is it’s accountants.  These accountants are geniuses who love to inflate the accounts receivables.  Inflating accounts receivables allows Tesla to make up revenue numbers and a whole bunch of other dirty accounting tricks. THIS IS A HIDDEN ASSET!  Always invest in companies that cook their books.  Companies that cook their books will literally always generate good results because they don’t play by the rules.

Wedbush is dumb

The guys at Wedbush are stupid.  These idiots will continue to frantically upgrade Tesla’s share price everyday as long as the stock is going up.  Sure it might make these idiots look dumb, but it will make the stock price go up.  Stocks that go up are good because they will make you money then you can pick up chicks.

 



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