It’s Friday so that means its another day of Stonk Market Confessions. And boy do I have a bomber for you. You know that Ark Investment Management lady? You know the one with the eyes? Well I’ve always thought she was kinda cute. And by kinda cute I mean smoking hot tamale hot!
Since I know Cathie reads The Stonk Market religiously, I thought it would be good to leave an open letter for her below. Love you Cathie!
Dearest Catherine sweetie pie boo,
If you are reading this please reply to my 67th email that I have sent to you this week. I know it might seem creepy but I am 110% sure you are my soul mate. You see, I have listened to all of your videos, I have all of your pictures hanging on my wall and I even your got face tattooed on my bicep. Catherine babe, I love you and want to marry you in the back of my black on black four door Tesla sedan. We can name our first kid Elon and our second kid Elon Two. So please Catherine dearest, reply to this email and please stop calling the cops on me when I am looking into your bathroom window. Also, it would be really nice if you could get that restraining order lifted. Very hard for me to see you when I am not legally allowed to be around you!
Kisses inside of a Tesla,
Eloise
