“It just wasn’t worth it, why did I waste my life as an impoverished freedom fighter when I could have made millions selling opium to infidels.” Taliban Lieutenant Ahmed Abbas tweeted before taking his life. “This place is just such a shit hole,” he continued.
Wondering why Allah would have them life in such a shitty homeland, many Taliban are realizing that their lives were better in the caves of Pakistan than Kabul and are overwhelmed with the disappointment. “I wasn’t expecting Disney on Ice or anything when we took over the country, but have you smelled corpses of infidels lining the streets? It sounded great in my prayers, but seriously, this just sucks,” CAPTAIN-TALY posted before live steaming his demise on Facebook.
TheStonkMarket.com is a financial satire site. The site provides unique coverage on the financial industry, stocks, hedge funds and global markets.
Mission: To provide daily humor and make stonks go up.
We are currently looking for content creators who have an interest in financial humor. Please reach out if you have an interest.
Do you want to become a Stonk Market Genius? Do you want a higher IQ? Do you want the ability to pick up chicks from random bars just by mentioning how fast you can build a DCF Model? If you answer yes to any of these, consider giving your email to me! In just a few clicks your IQ will rise by 7,000 basis points, chicks will start messaging you back and you will officially become a coveted Stonk Market Genius.