On Thursday at approximately 4:20 pm eastern the founder of Wall Street Supply was found in a ladies Starbucks bathroom passed out drunk from a Twisted Tea.
The barista that walked in on the drunken man happened to be the founder and Supreme CEO of Stock Market Hats. Stock Market Hats is known for the best hats to ever be made in America.
Not only was @WallStSupp found with his pants down to his ankles. But there were two MASSIVE green candle clothing pins clamped to his nipples.
To make matters worse, Wall Street Supply was using a iPhone 3G (poor) and managing a total of 69 stock trading discord rooms. Idiots in the discord room were paying $420.69 per day for useless penny stock trading alerts!
When the founder awoke from his drunken stupor he started screaming profanities about Jerome Powell’s money printer. It took the entire New York City Police Department to detain the deranged man.
Following the embarrassing act, all Wall Street Supply merchandise has been banned from every coffee shop in the world. Rumor has it the owner has filed for bankruptcy and will now just work at McDonald’s as a full time unpaid intern.
Stock Market Hats has taken advantage of the market shakeup – taking market share. Rumor has it the retired tech executive John W.B. Rich (Wealthy) invested $420 bucks for a 50% interest in the hat business.