“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Karla Greenwood, a local woman stated. “This boy was waving his lanky arms and legs around like someone was violently shaking a wet noodle. I ended up buying three new cars that day.”
Before becoming a wacky wavy tube man, William Karaman was an unsuccessful day trader best known for drinking his own urine and telling his followers he could post 20% returns per day.
“Hiring Mr. Karaman was the best business decision I ever made,” Richard Letts, owner of Letts Dealership stated. “I never would have thought hiring a kid built like a giraffe could create these kind of returns.”
Since hiring William, sales at Letts Dealership have increased five-fold. Even better, Richard Letts has created an incremental stream of revenue using Mr. Karaman’s appearance.
“I’m charging tourists five bucks to get a picture with Noodle Arm. This kid’s lankiness has officially been declared the 8th wonder of the world. We have even started to book tourists from all over the world who want to get their picture taken with Karaman.”
Mr. Letts further stated, “I started working with a group of investment bankers to collateralize Will’s cash flows. We plan to package up his lankiness and sell it to unsuspecting retail investors.”
Goldman Sachs, the investment bankers working on the deal, estimate the total market size for being built like a wet noodle is over $69 billion.