Tesla’s Bitcoin Wallet

Appearing visibly frustrated over the incredibly tough scene, Elon Musk spoke to his investors through a Joe Rogan podcast to mend the situation. “X-AE-12 accidentally deleted Tesla’s bitcoin wallet yesterday morning when he got ahold of my iPhone,” Musk stated on the popular podcast. “All $1.5 billion of our bitcoin is sadly lost forever.”

X-AE-12 was reported to be dismissed to Elon’s basement where his other five kids have lived for the past decade. “Grimes and I have decided to punish X-AE-12 in the most severe way we know by sending him off into the basement where our other five kids have lived, out of sight and out of mind. X-AE-12 will get no media attention or ever be seen in the public space again.”

Analysts upgraded Tesla’s stock yet again to even higher stratospheric levels. “Tesla losing their bitcoin wallet is actually a positive sign,” Michael Reid, of Citibank stated. “Tesla can write this loss off as an asset impairment and use it to offset future taxes. In addition we expect Tesla to buy Dogecoin which will officially make Tesla a meme stock.  As the late Ben Graham stated, meme stocks equal lots of money.”

Musk later shot off 46 tweets about Dogecoin on Valentines Day.